... I will smile a thousand smiles.

Let's compare Zoe's Tale to Twilight.

1.) Both stories center around teenage girls. Both protagonists are considered "the new girl" in their respective environments and are immediately popular with just about everyone because they're just so damn witty and awesome.

1a.) Both protagonists should probably be strangled.

B.) Both appear to have been written ostensibly for young adults while also appealing to a large adult audience.

III.) Both authors are often described as "the next ______." Meyers has been described as "the next Anne Rice" and John Scalzi has been called "the next Robert Heinlein."

Rutabega.) Both glorify a particular religion. Twilight is all about mormonism. Zoe's Tale makes a convincing case as to why Mennonites are pretty awesome. I'm totally convinced that if I ever colonize a harsh and inhospitable planet, I'm bringing along several dozen families of Mennonites because they're the only ones who ever seem to have their act together.

Probably more to come as I go on.

Edit: Hi, Mr. Scalzi! I can't believe you've noticed my little corner of the internet! I'm truly thrilled and honored that you linked to it and I'm glad you didn't take it seriously. On the off chance that you check this again, I'll just leave this note here. I'm really enjoying Zoe's Tale, and wish you lots of luck on the Hugo award. I hope it reaches Twilight's level of sales, too. You've crafted a fine story, sir.
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