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Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because his team laid down suppressing fire so that he could flank the enemy.
I was abandoned in the Maryland wetlands by my parents as a baby and adopted by ducks. I was the weird one among my adopted bothers and sisters, mostly because I was a human child and they were ducklings. The species gap was very hard to overcome, but we managed and were a happy family in spite of our differences. They cared for me and gave me an education, which is pretty impressive because they were ducks. Then, when I came of age, they sent me on a journey of self-discovery. While in the big city, I met a girl who I instantly fell in love with. "QUACK!" I yelled at her, to initiate the mating ritual of my family. She ran away, and I thought I'd never see her again until we met while being abducted by cyberzombie nazi skinheads with laser suspenders. They took us to an underground facility and made us watch 1930's musical cinema and discuss the finer points of the latest Boy's Life magazines. I used the ancient krav maga techniques of my adopted duck ancestors to defeat the cyberzombie nazi skinheads, took their laser suspenders for my own, and rescued the girl of my dreams. "QUACK!" I yelled at her, and this time she yelled "QUACK!" back. To this day we are happily married and are expecting a child.
1920s, airsoft, albert camus, anime, apostacy, artificial intelligence, ayn rand, battlestar galactica, being a corporate whore, blasphemy, brave new world, bureaucrash, cory doctorow, cryptography, cthulhutech, cults, cyberpunk, deadlands, dystopia, ex-jehovah's witnesses, existentialism, fighting cults, firefly, gangsta bluegrass, george orwell, glam rock, guitars, guns, harlem rennaisance, heavy drinking, high control groups, history, industrial music, ironic machismo, jazz, john scalzi, libertarianism, little brother, machines, magic the gathering, mandolins, mecha anime, military history, military science fiction, mind control, mmorpgs, music, music instruction, neal stephenson, old man's war, paranoia, phillip k. dick, philosophy, physics, psychobilly, punk music, rampancy, roaring 20's, robots, rockabilly, role playing, science, science fiction, security, shadowrun, slack, smoking, star trek, star wars, strategic thinking, tactical thinking, the giver, upright basses, video games, waaagh, warhammer 40k, warrior poetry, western swing, white ghost shivers, william gibson, xjw, zombies